MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: IT'S HALLOWEEN, AND BEST ADVICE I EVER GOT

It's Halloween, and I figured it was the perfect time to share one of best pieces of advice I ever got.

My daughter is in LOVE with the Cat in The Hat. She asks me to read it to her every day and owns three different copies.  The one she sleeps with, the one she never touches, and the one she takes with her everywhere that is being held together by multiple pieces of tape.  So naturally when it was time to find a costume the choice was clear.  This Cat in the Hat costume from Pottery Barn Kids is the absolute best and she let out a squeal far beyond her years when she finally saw it.

So how does this fall into the best advice I ever got category? 

Let me explain.

It all starts with my pediatrician, who  thankfully understands my first time mom jitters and never makes me feel like any of my concerns are wacky, (like that funny squeak she made for two seconds while doing jumping jacks, is she okay, is she okay?)

When my daughter was a few months old he asked if I read to her as part of our bedtime routine "At two months old?" "It's never too early to establish a love of reading" he said. And he was right, she LOVES books!!! This was a proud mommy moment because as a child reading was my favorite thing to do.  Sometimes we read 2-3 books a night, though she may be stalling bedtime, it's still a lot of fun. 

Establishing a love of books early was one of the best pieces of parenting advice that I have ever got.

What’s the best piece parenting of advice you've ever received?

MOMMIEKNOWSFRESH: WHAT MY 2 YEAR OLD TAUGHT ME ABOUT GRIEF

When we lose someone we love sometimes it's hard to understand why. I thought about this poignantly when Joan Rivers passed away. I thought to myself how hard it must be when you lose a parent you love so much.  That was a Thursday, my father died on Friday.

I was shocked. I was hurt. Here I was thrown into grief and not really knowing how to deal with it.  I usually find myself on the other side, giving hugs, condolences, and tuna casseroles. But here I am dealing with emotions that volley between sadness and anger. I heard myself saying why, why, why, literally becoming a broken record of grief.  I cried for all the times we had, and the times we didn't.

The finality of his death hasn't really hit me yet. I keep replaying our conversation over lunch about his upcoming retirement, and spending more time with his granddaughter. What saddens me the most is that for her memories of her "Pepaw" will consist of family stories and well-worn photos. 

There was a time for a few years when we didn't speak, me caught up in my “absentee dad” history and him with his guilt.  

As I got older I realized how much I missed him, and when we reconnected we were stronger than ever.  He was present for every event, every party, and the first person to visit me at the hospital after my daughter was born.

As I deal with the loss of my father I find that it is my two year old who has taught me the best lessons on handling grief.  It is she who saves me from sadness with her frequent dance party requests. Times I want to lay down she pulls me up, wanting me to read Green Eggs and Ham...again. And when we're on the couch watching “Finding Nemo”for the millionth time, she hugs me close and I hug her back, hard. 

Because one day it won't hurt so much and while we wait we must be like Nemo himself, and just keep swimming.